Affirming Yourself (without the eyeroll)

I used to talk to myself like I was some kind of disappointment factory. I’d catch my reflection in the mirror, fogged up from the shower, and think, “Yikes. You look like shit. Get it together.” It didn’t even register as unkind because I’d said it so often it became background noise.

That voice? The one that’s quick to list your flaws, point out what you forgot, and whisper that maybe you should shrink a little? Yeah, I know it well.

When a friend first suggested I try daily affirmations, I wanted to laugh. It felt ridiculous. Too fancy. Too far from my real life—where the dishes weren’t done and I was hanging on by a thread. But what I’ve learned since has nothing to do with chirpy positivity and everything to do with survival.

Affirmations, for me, became a way of being on my own side. A way of softening. Of being honest, yes—but with some warmth.

Let’s talk about how that actually works in real life.

The Internal Narrator You Didn’t Ask For

One day, I was staring blankly at my laptop, already overwhelmed before I’d even opened an email, thinking: “You’re a fraud. Everyone’s going to figure it out.” That spiral wasn’t new. But noticing it? That was.

Most of our self-talk isn’t even ours. It’s echoes - of parents, teachers, partners, old wounds, and a culture that seems to think women should be endlessly pleasing and never tired. I didn’t choose that voice, but I absorbed it. Most of us have.

Here’s what changed. I learned that the body doesn’t know the difference between someone else criticizing us and us doing it to ourselves. It all lands the same way - tight chest, shallow breath, feeling like you’re bracing for impact.

So I started experimenting. Not with unicorn-flavored, fancy affirmations, but with simple, grounding truths. Like: “This is hard. And I’m still doing the best I can.”

What Real Affirmations Look Like

Let’s clear this up now: I’m not talking about chanting “I am abundant” while your credit card declines. I’m talking about speaking to yourself like you matter, even when you feel like a mess.

Here’s one I’ve used on the hard days:

“This is a lot. But I’ve gotten through hard things before.”

Or:

“My anxiety is loud today. I still deserve gentleness.”

There’s power in that kind of language. Not because it’s magic, but because it stops the spiral. It interrupts the shame. And on a good day, it creates space for something softer.

Tiny Affirmations, Tucked Into Real Life

You don’t need a shrine. Or a journaling ritual at sunrise. (Bless you if you do, that’s just not me.)

I stick affirmations on my coffee maker. I whisper one while waiting for my laptop to stop buffering. I say one in the car sitting at that red light, before I dive into whatever chaos the day brings.

Here’s the trick - tie them to things you already do. Washing your face? Try: “Thanks for carrying me through today.” Climbing into bed? Try: “I’m still here. That counts.”

But What If It Still Feels Silly?

Oh, it will. At first. It’s clunky. It feels fake. You’ll probably roll your eyes the first ten times. That’s okay. Try it anyway.

Sometimes, I still don’t believe the nice things I say to myself. But I say them. Out loud, if I can. And when I can’t? I ask myself gentler questions instead.

“What if I’m not as behind as I think I am?”

“What would I say to a friend who felt like this?”

That’s all this is. Making space. Creating a pause. Giving yourself a beat of kindness instead of another mental smackdown.

The Sneaky, Quiet Shift

You won’t notice the change all at once. It’s slow. Quiet. A little boring, honestly. But one day, you’ll try on a dress that doesn’t fit and instead of thinking, “Ugh, what’s wrong with me?” you’ll think, “Guess this one wasn’t made for me.”

And then you might cry in a Target fitting room. Hypothetically.

Affirmations didn’t fix my life. But they softened the edges. They changed how I treat myself - and weirdly, how I let other people treat me too. Once you stop being your own bully, you notice when others are doing it. And you don’t let it slide as easily.

Try This Tomorrow

No pressure. No checklist. Just this - tomorrow morning, while brushing your teeth or pouring your coffee, put your hand on your heart and say, “I’m doing the best I can today. That is enough.”

Not because I told you to. But because you deserve a break from that voice in your head that always wants more.

And if that still feels like too much? Just notice. That’s a win too.

Final Thought

You don’t have to be healed to be kind to yourself. You don’t need a fresh start or a breakthrough or the “right” morning routine. You just need a small moment of truth.

Here’s mine - I’m still figuring it out. But I’m doing it with more softness now. And I hope you are too.

Let’s keep going—one kind word at a time.